I have one follower - woo hoo. NV from This D*amn House wrote me a note - and honestly it made my day. I realize my blog is not very upbeat right now - but it will be when my medicine starts to really kick in and work.
I used to have a little side "business" that was called Soothing Panes - I painted on old windows and sold them. I drew with permanent marker on one side and painted on the back of the window so they had a 3-D effect. All I wanted was a little validation that I had some kind of talent - did one craft show and sold out and that was good enough for me. I had grown up always doing some kind of art project - and took private art lessons when in 9th grade. I wanted to go to design school but my dad put his foot down on that one - you can't make money doing that. So I followed orders, H.A.T.E.D. it, ended up being a nanny on the East coast which I adored, and somehow ended up back in the Midwest, a single mom with a lovely son who is now grown and out of the house. I do love all things decorating though - so while I am feeling so down and out I read the blogs and find myself feeling as if Calgon took me away - which is weird cause I hate to take baths. I'm a shower girl.
Well I started the new meds yesterday - they placed me on Abilify ($487 dollars if you don't have insurance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) - that is just uncalled for. These small blue pills better be the antedote I need - but they take a few weeks to kick in. What do you do in the mean time? I'm take 2 other drugs + going to therapy and I still feel at the lowest I've ever been. If I could sleep for 12 hours straight with no interruptions, make it to work, finish some projects around my own house, feel like "playing" with my friends instead of wanting to be holed up alone - that would bring me much joy.
Wednesday is a new day and I am going to make it to work - that is my goal. Thanks to all the bloggers that put there heart and souls out there, make me laugh, teach me things, support one another the way women should, and seem to really enjoy what they do. What did we use to do before the internet? lol