Saturday and my "helper" called me at 9 to be sure I was out bed already. I am so lucky that she cares about me and is worried about this bout of depression I am going through - but sometimes a girl needs to rest! When I was going through treatment K always told me - rest will help you heal. Apparently that no longer is part of the regimen.
I went in to work as promised and after 3 hours could feel myself starting to be anxious. Got sick to my stomach, and just couldn't concentrate any longer - all because I had emailed my boss and asked him a question about a report I was doing and he asked if I could get the staff meeting minutes done this weekend also. The staff meeting was at the end of May - I am almost 100% positive that I will pull the notes out, look at them, and wonder what we were talking about or why did I write that. My short term memory has continually gotten worse since chemo started in August of 2007, that plus all of the meds I had to take on top of it - it's just shot. People laugh and say I do that all the time. Yeah well - I never used to and it really bothers me.
It was a gorgeous day here today and I promised K that tomorrow I would go up to the arts festival here in town and walk around a little bit. She will be "with me" in spirit. I wonder what time she'll call me tomorrow.
I am writing this for my own benefit only because I NEED to - but if anyone ever reads it I would love to know if you ever suffered from severe depression or anxiety after your treatment ended and what you did about it.
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