Saturday and my "helper" called me at 9 to be sure I was out bed already. I am so lucky that she cares about me and is worried about this bout of depression I am going through - but sometimes a girl needs to rest! When I was going through treatment K always told me - rest will help you heal. Apparently that no longer is part of the regimen.
I went in to work as promised and after 3 hours could feel myself starting to be anxious. Got sick to my stomach, and just couldn't concentrate any longer - all because I had emailed my boss and asked him a question about a report I was doing and he asked if I could get the staff meeting minutes done this weekend also. The staff meeting was at the end of May - I am almost 100% positive that I will pull the notes out, look at them, and wonder what we were talking about or why did I write that. My short term memory has continually gotten worse since chemo started in August of 2007, that plus all of the meds I had to take on top of it - it's just shot. People laugh and say I do that all the time. Yeah well - I never used to and it really bothers me.
It was a gorgeous day here today and I promised K that tomorrow I would go up to the arts festival here in town and walk around a little bit. She will be "with me" in spirit. I wonder what time she'll call me tomorrow.
I am writing this for my own benefit only because I NEED to - but if anyone ever reads it I would love to know if you ever suffered from severe depression or anxiety after your treatment ended and what you did about it.
Spending the weekend in the 1800's
12 hours ago