Thursday, October 22, 2009


are all smudging together lately. It has been so dreary outside, except for Sunday, that I can hardly stand it any more. Seasonal Affective Disorder anyone? ha!

I just read Farmgirl Paints blog about her days at Brave Girl Camp and all I can say is I cannot wait - I am overwhelmed just by reading her experience that I can hardly imagine that I will be able to experience it myself next spring. I am so excited!!!

I've been suffering from those horrible leg cramps again and it is exhausting. I was up so much last night that I didn't go in to work today. And the cramps were still going on throughout the day. That doesn't normally happen. I am going to stretch really well before bed tonight and see if that helps me at all - I can't take much more.

I went through a rough night the other night with my sister. She is in the process of getting divorced and has done some pretty amazingly stupid and selfish things the past couple of months. So out of the blue she calls and asks to borrow some money - this from me, the person who has no money! $2,000 yet. How do people find the gall to ask for money from somebody they have used and hurt so much? I don't know - I'd say she has a real set of balls. Sorry. It's just how I feel. At first I said I could give her some - but the more I thought about it the more I knew it would never be repaid and this money would be coming from my medial account - because there isn't a lot in my personal savings that could be shared. And I ended up calling her back and telling her no. Am I the most horrible person ever? I keep trying to tell myself that it's okay to put myself first and protect myself - but what if the truth is that I'm just a defiant sister who doesn't want to help her sister who has been such a witch to me after we worked so hard to put our relationship back together. Do I OWE her something? I want to call and see what she did and how she worked it out - and yet, part of me doesn't care.

Enough of that - yesterday was my cognitive testing at the neuropsychiatrist's. Quite interesting. I did more repeating, math problems, trying to put diagrams together with blocks (which I could NOT do no matter how I tried), etc - it was just so interesting. I left knowing there weren't any glaring deficiencies (my memory loss, confusion, blurry vision issues are why I was there)but she had to score the tests and norm them against other people my age. I feel as if I have Alzheimers some days and I'm tired of people telling me it's because I'm 45.

Well it's been days since I've been on my computer so I'm going to catch up on the blogs I follow and head to bed early. Pray for sun tomorrow!!! And thanks for listening.

Til next time.

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