Why

I made it through yesterday feeling pretty good until I got home and called my parents and started crying. It's stupid really - but I have this thing about people (meaning my family) not only sending a card for birthday's, but also calling the person to tell them happy birthday. It's a celebration of the day of your birth for God sake - why wouldn't you talk to your family then? Well my mother had started the past few years of sending a card but not calling. Every year we get in to it about the no phone call - and that's in regard to me! It hurts my feelings that I'm not important enough to pick up the phone for. So when it happened to Patrick yesterday - it totally pissed me off (meaning it hurt me)- so I got phone from spending the day with my beautiful son and called and let my mom have it. As soon as I spoke my mind I started to cry.

I've had issues with this for year and it started with Patrick's dad. I swear the man does not know the day of his son's birth. I feel as if he does it to ME each year when he doesn't call - but what about Patrick? We came out of the movie yesterday and he has all these messages from the many friends he has and not one from a family member, including his father. If it were me I'd call my dad and say listen here - just like I did to my mom - but he's not like that. First off he's a guy and you probably don't do that - but you can't tell me it doesn't sting.

So our day together was so nice. We left about 10:30 for Sioux Falls and the weather was already warm and dry and the sun was shining. We ate at a placed called Carnval Brazilian Grill and it was amazing. We both loved the food immensely and Patrick is more adventurous then I am so he tried many more meats then I did. He loved every thing. My favorite was the parmesan cheese encrusted chicken - oh it was yummy. The gaucho's walk around with these large hot skewers with meat on them and slice it right at your table - and then you get all the side dishes you want up at the buffet. Crazy amounts of food. So once we were stuffed sufficiently off we went to a movie and saw This Is It - the Michael Jackson movie. Patrick wasn't a big fan of his, but I grew up with the Jackson Five and Michael's music himself and I sat and just bobbed my head the whole time. We both enjoyed the movie a lot - really interesting to see what it takes to put a show of that magnitude together. And after seeing it, it made me realize how manipulated I was by the media for making me think that he was this weak, frail human being - nobody can rehearse like that and have that type of vision when they are like that. Made me want to go out and dance the night away.Next we stopped at the casino so Patrick could jump in the money booth - and he got $26 bucks. Not a lot, but more then he walked in with. And then home it was.

I just have to say that the reason I get so worked up about my son, even though he's 23, is that if not for him I don't know where I'd be today. When I was in the horrible marriage with his dad - I left for Patrick. Not myself. And everything I did from there on out was for this precious child of mine. He never gave me any trouble, always told me he loved me, was smart, is tall and handsome, plays guitar like a maestro and he just loves life and life loves him back. You never stop being the mom I know - but wow, it's hard. I hope that I am on this earth long enough to see him marry, if he chooses, and to see his children be born. Full circle - what a miracle that would be.

Til next time.
Kris