Great weather weekend

Wow - who can believe it's August in SD when it's in the 60's and the sun is shining and no clouds. I would never believe it. I made it to work today to finish up some of the things still sitting on my desk. I will go in tomorrow morning early to get it all finished up and start another month once again.

What is up with men and going to the doctor? My good friend Jerry started feeling sick on Friday. He went to the doctor and saw one of the people I would never let touch me who then prescribed a Z-Pack for him. I talked to him yesterday and I didn't even know it was him - you can just hear the rattle in his chest. Today he couldn't talk without getting short of breath. I kept saying he needed to go to the ER - nope. The 2nd time I called today he was sure he couldn't work tomorrow so I told him I'm calling Dr. H - he said how? I have my ways...........so I called his wife, my friend, and told her what was going on and Dr. H, bless his heart, made a house call to Jerry. Jerry called and thanked me over and over. He just didn't have the energy to even leave the house I think and instead of just saying that he was just plain stubborn. They drive me crazy.

I and 4 other girls went and saw the movie Time Travelers Wife today - it was really a nice movie - the book is better - but still the movie was believable and I love when they can make that happen. The weird thing is that I did not cry. Not even a single tear. My emotions are so backwards any more - I can cry just saying somebody's name or sob for no reason and then I watch something wonderful and moving and I've got nothing. Isn't that just crazy??? I cannot wait until 9-14-09 - neurology here I come.

One Week of Work

I actually made it to work every day this week. This is the first time in a long time - can't say it makes me happy or overjoyed as the confusion and memory problems I have while there are infuriating. God, I cannot wait to go to the Neurologist on the 14th to see if this is all medicine induced, depression or something physically wrong with me.

Henry is better!!!! The prescription food to bind him up worked and we've got formation now. Who ever thought I'd so concerned about my dogs poop. Not me, that's for sure. My son said wow mom, were you like that with me - and I said yep, every single time. Guess Henry really is like my child now. NV said her dog has had it 3 times - I am going to pray that isn't so with Henry. That was enough to stress me out for a long, long time.

Have been doing a little crafting here in SD - my living room is officially done!! Yippee. My bedroom just needs to get some adjustments and then I'll be working on the picture/collage that I'm making for over my bed and I'll be done with that also. I spray painted a wicker chair today = what a pain in the butt. I'd much rather spray paint anything else I think. Took almost 3 cans to cover a white chair with gloss leather brown color. Looks great with the cushion and pillow I made though. Love the fabric glue - wish I had stock in it.

I live in a small town in SD and today was college move in day - so here came 12,000+ kids, trailers, parents, etc to unload for the next 9 months. Wal-Mart was an absolute freaking zoo today. Shelves were cleared off in like minutes - it really is weird to see. Glad I needed spray paint and that was it. In. Out. Home.

I did talk to two of my favorite people today - Keenie and my aunt Penny. It's Penny's birthday and Keenie calls me daily to be sure I've not completely lost my sanity. Do not know what I would have done without these amazing women in my life. They just love me with no judgment whatsoever - and that is a rare thing.

Til next time...

Tuesday

I love to write - and this makes it feel safe to write what I think without being judged by those loved ones around me who just can't seem to keep their feelings to themselves or to waaahhh to others about what I am doing or saying.

I made it to work yesterday - all day - on a Monday. But to be honest, the reason I made it was because my dog is sick and had been up with him all Sunday night again, called the vet at like 4:30, who told me it was okay to wait until 7:30 to bring him in even though his diarrhea was now pure blood. Freaked me out, freaked Henry (the dog) out too. So, this morning I am home for a couple of hours because he is still having problems, although they are getting better, but we were up every 1 1/2 hours again last night cleaning up messes. He messed, I cleaned. Poor Henry. We both are exhausted.

My battery is about to go here and I need to get ready for work. Til next time.

August 23rd already

What happened to this month? And has summer really even been here? In South Dakota we had hotter days in late May then we have in August when it's usually humid and horrible out. I am loving it. My AC bill should be really low. Yah! I could use the extra money.

Well on the creative side I've been doing well. My living room just needs to get the ottoman recovered - I have everything to complete it, just haven't got it done and then I will spray the wicker chair a chocolate brown and it'll be complete! My dining room needs 3 pictures rehung and new photo's inserted and my bedroom needs to have the stuff rearranged on the dresser and I will then start on the large canvas that I plan to do to hang over my bed. I have everything picked out to go on it but I am trying to really plan it out in my mind before I start laying stuff down - too expensive for just the canvas to screw it up.

As for trying to keep my pains soothed - well that's a whole other matter in and of itself. I've been trying for a little over 4 weeks to get the right meds to regulate the depression that has been knocking me down for the count to no avail. I had a 1:00 therapy appointment on Friday and was crying so hard that I couldn't go back to work. My boss said, I thought therapy was supposed to help? It does - but you go through some rough stuff while it's working. My therapist, Kris, said that she wondered what I thought about asking my psychiatric med manager about seeing whether or not my insurance would pay for inpatient treatment - just to get the meds regulated and the opportunity to work with therapists 24/7 and get the rest I need. I am just exhausted all the time. All of that crap piled on top of worrying about my job security, the confusion that is a minute by minute issue any more and missing work - it's too much for my mind to deal with. The only thing that gives me true pleasure right now is using my creative side - at least I don't feel like a total reject then.

Yesterday was my good friend Patty's husbands 60th birthday - and they had a big shindig. It was really nice to see so many smiling faces. I don't feel as if I contributed much in the way of helping Patty out - but I got a lot out of watching all the young kids run around and play and the older group also partake in volley ball and bean bag games. I just sat and watched and took it all in - then started to really feel nauseated after being in the sun for a little while. After that - I couldn't wait to get home. Just didn't feel right. So off we went (my friend Jerry took me out and back).

I opened the front door and was like, what the hell smells. My poor pooch Henry had been sick while I was gone (which has not ever happened since I got him 1 1/2 years ago). He had stuff come out both ends and was in his kennel just shaking away. Poor guy. I got his kennel cleaned up, him cleaned up, and then the rest of the night was up and down, up and down, and trying to keep him warm, clean, and spot cleaning the carpet, etc. Right now he seems to be doing a wee bit better - at least he has drank twice in the past couple of hours and that has stayed inside so we are making progress.

Today is my beloved Keenie's birthday - she turns 72. She is one of those people that I've adopted in my life and made part of my family. She is one of two women that I wish my mom would sit and talk to and learn from - about what it means to be a mom. I love my mom - but she really just doesn't get it. Or maybe it's me who doesn't get how to be the loving child. Could be. I am a great mom - this I know to be true - but grateful, loving child? Not so much. Spend more time wishing things could be different - but at our ages, I don't thin it will change too much unless my cancer returns. Cause I won't be doing treatment for a 3rd recurrence - not unless then have a cure and can guarantee me it works. I love life - but not enough to suffer like that just to die in the end.

God, this is depressing even me. And that's saying a lot!!lol

by Gail is excellent if you want some really great idea's about things to do with wonderful tutorials. I found her by mistake - but she makes me want to do more and more.

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend. Til next time.

Wonderful & Cool Here....

that much I love. I still can't figure how to add a link, I posted the same post twice the other day while dinking around trying to "learn" something technical, my dog Henry will NOT quit barking at the grass or whatever is in his range of eyesight right now and he's driving me crazy. But it's cool, and there's a gorgeous breeze coming in the windows, and I know I should be DOING SOMETHING constructive but I can hardly keep my eyes open and I cannot go to the bathroom. Yes, I am well aware that that is TMI. But this medicine Abilify is going to kill me. I've convinced myself I must have a bowel obstruction - only I know I'd be in more pain. I did just have surgery in April again to remove the ole gall bladder - could be. I'm just miserable is all I can say.

Hey does anyone know that if you post a comment on someone's site and you aren't technically a decorating blog - do they or can they delete what you had to say? It kind of ticks me off. I gave a very nice comment regarding someone's floor and told how I had accomplished mine and I don't see it. Cripes I probably deleted it myself knowing me.

Tomorrow night I will be making like 120 cupcakes with my friend Patty for her husband's 60th birthday party coming up this weekend. She and I are only 45 so I give her grief about her old man all the time. I tell him also - he tries to act all gruff, but I'm hoping deep down he's a good guy.

Well here is my latest guffaw of the week. I called my therapist yesterday to ask what day my appointment was cause I had one day at 1 and another day at 4 - and I knew I was just going once this week. So the mssg plays, and I say - Hi Kris, this is Kris Gedstad and I need to check on my correct appointment time. Everyone in the office started to crack up. Her name is Kris Gedstad - not mine.

It's 7:56 and I feel as if I could go to bed. Why am I so tired???? Maybe the neurologist will be able to find the reason on the 14th of September when I finally get in to see her. Some days I truly feel as if I've lost my mind. Scary.

Am loving everyone's projects they are doing - I even got my friend Patty to try crafting today - and she did it. She called so proud of herself. Just takes a little time, that's all.

Til next time.

Soothing Pains: Rainy Days and Mondays Always.....

Soothing Pains: Rainy Days and Mondays Always.....

Rainy Days and Mondays Always.....

get me down. God I loved the Carpenters. ha

I felt like I was turning a corner there for a couple of days and then whammo - today it has been hell. Crying, sleeping, whining, making promises to my most beloved friends & my boss that starting tomorrow I promise to them that I will be there at work EVEN if I can't make it in to the shower, come hell or high water I am coming to work every day. There is nothing that I hate worse in the world then feeling as if I've let someone down or disappointed them. It's just not my way. But this is day 5 of the new combination of drugs and I think we may have it right for now. I just really, really, prefer to be at home, by myself - and that is so not me - and I think that is what scares me the most. But you have to forge ahead right? Hell I was NEVER this bad even while going through chemo - the last three years have hit me hard.

NV over at This D*amn House gave me some pointers on how to put someone's site in to my blog so that if someone besides her (lol - love my 1 reader)see's my blog they can link to the others. So I'm going to use her site to see if I can get it to work. Wish me luck.

Til next time.